Monday, November 30, 2009



1. Disintegrate all authority based on bureaucracy. Bring back dueling & racing.

2. Make the 4th of July a week long orgy of cheap beer, all beef hot dogs, fire works, potato salad & deviled eggs culminating in a citizen's seizure of Canadian & Mexican land, using only feet & fists. It is an honor to die in this service.

3. Make babies & understand that we are born to live life to the fullest & to do otherwise is unAmerican & most likely Canadian.

4. Citizenship is granted to anyone, but be prepared to be kicked into the ocean for not being American enough.

5. Class aspiration must be discouraged as America is the land of the nitro burning hayseed billionaire with gold teeth.

6. Drive through bars.

7. The next America is outer space, it is just waiting for hyper-speed, souped-up space jalopies & hot-dog shaped space hulks drifting through the universe.

Szandora LaVey doin' the Hula Bula!


Makes it very obvious why the hula hoop was invented! Szandora looks like a Frazetta broad too, which ain't hurtin'!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

You Wan't Fries With That?

Burger Puppet
"Welcome to Burger Puppet, can i take your order?"
My son Otto calls all fast-food burger spots "Burger Puppet". God knows why this is, but it's a great concept, & will definitely be the name of our own burger joint one day.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Flakes - Back To School

I first saw Russell Quan & Tina Lucchesi at what i think was a Bobbyteens playing with the Donnas or maybe they were the Electrocutes show at the Hof Brau in Oakland back around 1994. I was deliberately unsophisticated at the time, my band emulating the youthful fucked up-ness of your typical Orange County hardcore band. I think we entered the show with corn-syrup in our mohawks or something equally clever. Besides the pre-Donnas, we were the youngest people in the place by probably ten years. I just assumed it was the usual perverted old Punks who showed up to Donnas shows. Anyhow, these two people struck something deep inside me, which initially reacted with confusion & then denial. A Korean Ramone & a chunky rock & roll broad who was WORKING it totally destroyed my limited view of the world. All of those older scene characters who were obviously bathed in a world of stylishness that was aeons beyond me intimidated the holy hell out of me. It was unfathomable. They was unfathomable. So, time passes & i've been around the block a few times & SUDDENLY, i start to GET IT. That was around ten years ago. Check out all this cool crap they do!
The Flakes
The Trashwomen
The Bobbyteens
Top Ten
Down at Lulu's
Dinky Bits & the Lil' Guys
The Mummies
The Phantom Surfers
Russell Quan's incredibly accurate "Rocker's Guide to the Vintage East Bay".

Friends of the Red Baron

My boy's doctor's office used to have a great Red Baron type Fokker Dr.I triplane kite in the waiting room, along with some other less cool ones. One day we're waiting for a routine check-up & i notice the kite is gone! Somehow knowing the answer already, i went up to the front desk to ask, "What happened to the Red Baron kite?" The lady behind the desk said, "Oh, we took it down." "That's obvious, but why'd you take it down?" I pressed. "Oh, well, a patron complained about it being associated with Nazis." she said, looking down. My blood began to boil, "Do you know which war he flew in? There were no Nazis in WWI. This is just anti-German!" "Well, when a patron complains..." i wasn't listening anymore. One of the kites they kept up in the waiting room was a pirate ship, which i have NO problem with, except that pirates are played out. BUT, pirates are universally bad characters, even if you're a pirate you know that, but the Red Baron was one of the Knights of the Air, respected even by his enemies during WWI! The Red Baron is also an icon of coolness, very few things look as cool as the red color of his Fokker Dr.I triplane with the black Iron Cross emblazoned on the side. Nothing! After seeing that the plane ride at the Oakland Zoo had removed the iron crosses from the sides of their red planes i knew something had to be done! The Red Baron needed an advocacy group, "The Friends of the Red Baron".
The Royal Guardsmen - Snoopy vs. the Red Baron

Download here.
Super Robot Red Baron

Kustom Kulture can always recognize a strong style icon.

What happened in the 80s & 90s that suddenly made the Red Baron a touchy subject? Is this connected with the far-leftist Punk scene's decision that Nazis were their number one political enemy in 1980? What the hell was going on?

Saturday, November 21, 2009

King Kong Vs. Godzilla

Alot of people have been trained to dislike cheap production. But I know better. I know that cheap production is a merit, & that it is the form & content & tradition that carry cultural objects forward towards a place in our heart & history. These are the things we take with us through life! Godzilla movies!

A brilliant misunderstanding of the general concept of Frankenstein.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dr. Bronner - American Hero

"American democratic President Wilson, 1917, replaced Marxism by Lenin. "We are not a nation of classes, races, minority or pressure groups! Anybody trading on our race, color, nationality or religion is not yet American, does not yet deserve to enjoy the liberties of the Stars & Stripes! He does not yet know, that the Army of Principles by America's Founding Father, the world's 1st steelbridqe-builder, Thos. Paine, since 1799, unites the whole Human race in our Eternal Father's great All-One-God-Faith! Once we teach it, 6 billion strong, we're All-One! "As teach Abraham-Israel-Moses- Buddha-Jesus & Mohammed, inspired every 76 yrs. by the messenger of God's law, the Messiah, Halley's Comet! 6000 yrs. since the year One! We're All-One! All-One!

In '68 American Mao professor Marcuse upset Moscow's Czech power till Moscow's Press had the courage to confess: "Marx is god! Marcuse his prophet! Mao his sword! 50,000 American university professors, his disciples! Black Panthers his killers!" What an apology we Rabbis owe Marx-Moscow, all Jews, all mankind, IRS slave, for our 2000 year failure to teach brave the constructive-selfish Moral ABC the real Rabbi Hillel taught Jesus to unite all mankind free! The exact opposite to absolute-unselfish Marxism, that enslaves the Free! Unless we teach the whole Human race the Moral ABC from uniting All-One-God-Faith, we're dead men on furlough from half-true hates!"